>3am on a Sunday. Time to pause and reflect on the past week. Time to ponder the future, what I could be, what I want to be. There’s not much time for that though. Right now I have to focus on where I am. I’ve always had trouble focusing. My attention span resembles that of a gnat due to a learning disorder. I’ve struggled with it my whole life. When I was young I would squirm and wiggle in my chair and the mental discomfort I was experiencing manifested itself physically. As an adult, I still have the same problem. I squirm like a 3 year old when faced with a very difficult intellectual activity. My mind never wants to stay here. It wants to go wandering. Today I have a quote before me on a 3×5 card. It tells me to forget everything but what I’m going to do right now. And for a time, all that exists is the treadmill and me. I’m not visualizing a beautiful beach. I’m not dreaming of what I’ll look like. One minute at a time, I focus on now. I focus on the thump-thump of my feet hitting the ground. I focus on the burning in my lungs. I focus on nothing but me. It doesn’t last terribly long. It’s a minute here, a minute there. But gradually the duration builds. One minute becomes two, two becomes three. By the end of the 20 minutes I’ve managed 12 minutes of focused effort. My head hurts a bit. It’s not used to that type of effort. Like all pain, this will pass. And today, I’m just a little bit stronger, a little bit faster, and a bit wiser. After all, anyone can focus for just a minute. All it takes is focusing one minute at a time over and over again. I can do this. I can do anything one minute at a time.

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