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Clara Showalter

~ A life in motion

Clara Showalter

Category Archives: Writing

Evening musings, lost words.

06 Thursday Nov 2014

Posted by Clara K. Showalter in Writing

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

nablopomo, nanowrimo

The goal remains some type of engaged writing daily. I’ve plunked out two sentences on my Nano project in two days. The goal is to not get in the mindset of putting it off. Even that tiny effort means that creative efforts continue.

There was a minor data setback. I saved over new text with an older version on the backup. I can either go back and spend hours hunting the text down, or say screw it and just generate new words. I think the latter will save me time and frustration in the long run.

Too often we spend time trying to fix something, when the quicker and less stressful resolution is to just keep going forward.

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Days where you struggle for words

03 Monday Nov 2014

Posted by Clara K. Showalter in Writing

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

nablopomo, nanowrimo

Today just started out on an off note. I woke up feeling like I’d been hit by the 208 bus, and it hasn’t really picked up since then. So much of the day is just running through the basic motions. Small tasks are a huge struggle today. Thinking even hurts. Oddly, I can’t pick a reason why that might be. Nothing yesterday was particularly odd. Today is just off.

Worst of all, the words don’t want to come and play. All day it’s been an exercise in writing a sentence, then walking away. Over and over again, a single sentence struggle to make it’s way into the world. Then thought shuts down, and I have to walk around to find a new one.

In a perfect world, I’d have all the words now. But the world is not perfect, and perfect writing doesn’t exist. Not in a first draft at any rate.

Write, write, then write more.

02 Sunday Nov 2014

Posted by Clara K. Showalter in Writing, Zen and the Art of Clara

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nablopomo, nanowrimo

The key to writing is to keep writing, even when you produce nothing but garbage. That’s one reason I’ve been doing Nanowrimo this year. I’ve got to get into the groove where there’s enough volume to get something flowing. Which means generating crap. Which is not something I do well as a rule. Yet in he first 2 days, I’ve put out nearly 4000 words of crap. Which is great. It’s getting me moving last the initial struggle stage, and giving me a sense of achievement at the end of a writing session. Rather than wandering off and muttering rudely, I’m wandering off and feeling better about the overall output.

It’s not easy, but I didn’t expect it would be. I’m almost glad it isn’t.

Kicking off NaBloPoMo

01 Saturday Nov 2014

Posted by Clara K. Showalter in Writing, Zen and the Art of Clara

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creative recovery, nablopomo, nanowrimo

November is a time for writing. Around the world, tens of thousands of budding novelists are kicking off their attempt at writing a novel. Nanowrimo is an orgy of writing, with the focus squarely on getting people to produce volume. The goal is writing 50000 words in a month, which is roughly 1600 words dally. At the end, you have a good start on a novel, and at least a novella.

Nablopomo, aims to encourage daily blogging, again with the focus on improving your writing through daily structure. After months of a creative slump, I’m using both as tools to help me get writing with regularity. Creative recovery is tough, and no writer enjoys the process. Without a forced effort, you just can’t make it back to anything remotely resembling your previous levels. So this month I’m committing to work on both better blogging, and to relearn to just write, even when it’s crap. I’ve got a pen and notebook for when I have the urge to story whilst out, and the iPad is loaded up.

Ahoy month of writing, and here’s to creative recovery.

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Writing recovery

14 Tuesday Oct 2014

Posted by Clara K. Showalter in Writing, Zen and the Art of Clara

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creative block, free form, Musings, working it out, writers block

It’s disconcerting when you wake up one day and realize that the ideas in your head just won’t flow out any longer. The words back up, the concepts log jam, and you’re stuck with things to share, and no way to do it. The harder you try, the worse the jam becomes until there’s a dam in your mind.

Periodically the spillway opens, and you get a little trickle out. It relieves the pressure, but does nothing to clear the backup. Sooner rather than later you stop trying, and walk around in a perpetual state of frustration and anxiety. The paradox is a pain to deal with. You need to write to clear the block, but nothing wants to flow out. You need audience feedback to help you figure out what works and what doesn’t, and you can’t find an audience.

You write an awful lot of crap. The apartment floor is littered with half hearted attempts at doing something. Nothing sounds right, nothing helps, and everything just sucks.

Until one day, you finally see a little crack in the dam. There’s something new trickling out from a different spot. It’s not the spillway, it’s a flaw in the dam. That’s where you move to, trying to see if you can pry that crack open. Just a little bit. Just enough to get the ideas moving again.

Keep pushing.

By the light of Francis

01 Friday Nov 2013

Posted by Clara K. Showalter in Writing

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365, faith, life, nablopomo

Today is All Saints Day. Around the world, churches are bringing out their relics as a way to connect the faithful to these inspirational figures. The stories of the saints comfort and inspire those in need. Today I think of Saint Francis, patron of animals. I think of the kindness he inspires, and the idea that when you help God’s creatures it brings you closer to Him and it helps you make this world a better place. I type this with a small kitten purring on my shoulder. Without help, he wouldn’t be here. With my help, love, and compassion, this blind kitten will have a chance at a full and happy life. His presence and story inspires others. It brings comfort to a woman who lost a beloved companion. His story makes people smile. He makes me laugh.

My gift is helping injured animals heal. What I get back is so much more.

Blessed Saint Francis, pray for us.

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Irish Fight!

25 Sunday Nov 2012

Posted by Clara K. Showalter in Writing, Zen and the Art of Clara

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football, irish, life, nablopomo, notre dame

The Irish in America occupy an interesting niche. The Irish Diaspora refers to the period of time where Irish citizens left Ireland in droves, immigrating to a variety of other nations. The big exodus started in the 1840s during the Great Famine, a series of crop failures that lead to economic collapse and loss of food. So it was off to “Amerikay”, and into the cities of Boston, New York, and Philadelphia.

These immigrants were dirt poor, filthy after weeks in poor travel conditions, malnourished due to the Famine, and often didn’t speak English. Worst of all, they were Catholic in a predominantly Protestant nation. It was the New World’s first major influx of poor immigrants, and the current residents of these cities were not happy with the new arrivals. There were anecdotal stories of signs saying “Irish need not apply”, Irish workers were given the lowest of menial jobs, and generally they were viewed as the worst sort of white trash.

Slowly and systematically the Irish fought back and integrated into society. They got jobs at multiple levels of civil service (police, fire, sanitation), helped fight to create unions, and worked to move into positions of power to prevent additional victimization.

The difficult conditions that immigrants ran into on arrival lead to the development of an Irish cultural identity that’s still present today. It’s that nostalgic that I call cultural Irish Catholicism. There’s a respect for the Catholic Church (even if you don’t practice), and appreciation for the old home country, and an ingrained sense of community around a common cultural heritage.

Notre Dame University is a powerful visual representation of this. Talk to an Irish Catholic, and chances are that they have a soft spot for Notre Dame football, even if they have another college team they follow. As a child I liked watching Notre Dame play because they were Irish and Catholic. They were “us”. That’s the only reason I’d watch as a child. I grew up and eventually shifted my primary football allegiance to the Texas Longhorns (Hook em!). But there’s still a warm fuzzy spot for the Irish.

Last night, the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame went undefeated for the season. They will compete for the national championship in January. The little Irishwoman in me is thrilled. The storied Fighting Irish, an independent team without a conference, sticks it to the college football establishment. They were never supposed to be here. Just like the first Irish to step foot in Amerikay. In spite of the obstetrical in their way, they made their own path, fought for a place at the table, and came out on top.

It’s a small reminder of what my family members battled as new immigrants to America. Sure it’s just football, and it may not matter much. But for me it’s a bit more than that.

Go Irish!

But what if I don’t want to post

09 Friday Nov 2012

Posted by Clara K. Showalter in Writing, Zen and the Art of Clara

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nablopomo

Some days trying to come up with a post for this project is not easy. But the goal isn’t always about getting good content. It’s sure not about perfect content. It’s about sitting down, working to get words on to a page, then sticking em up.

Even when you don’t want to. Win.

Sawdust

08 Thursday Nov 2012

Posted by Clara K. Showalter in Writing

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nablopomo

Prompt- Talk about a smell that evokes a particular memory

That smell of freshly cut wood, sweet, with a hit of burn to it was all through the Louisville Slugger factory. It’s a smell that means baseball, baseball bats, spring and games of catch. It’s the smell that comes from patiently sanding down your baseball bat, because that’s what pro ball players do. It’s a smell that means family.

 

Caffeine BAD

07 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by Clara K. Showalter in Writing, Zen and the Art of Clara

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

life, nablopomo, writing

Prompt: Tell us about something you’ve done that you would advise a friend never to do.

—

Did you know that you can indeed overdose on caffeine? Yes, yes you can. I discovered this in college. Junior year during finals week I was juggling an EMT class, plus multiple finals. In typical college student fashion, I’d put off writing a paper, so the night before it was due I sat down at my trusty Mac and commenced writing.

It was a paper on some obscure aspect of Victorian literature. I can’t recall for the life of me what it was supposed to be. I do recall words, lots of words, and a focus on page and word. It was like NaNoWriMo, only with major problems if I didn’t finish. To fuel the 15 page paper, I relied on a trusty combination of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. Two liters of Mountain Dew to be precise. When the buzz of the Dew passed sometime around 3am, then there was Viviran. Four of them. I was on a roll.

Somewhere along the way I finished, and flopped into bed. A few hours later, I woke up, jittery and anxious, laced with exhausted. I went to check on the paper. No paper on the hard drive. Somehow I’d managed to fail to save the full paper. In a panic, I slammed more Dew and cranked out more drivel. I still have no clue how I passed that class.

I went to class, dropped off the second paper the headed to an exam. I popped a Viviran in class to stay awake while taking the test. I managed to stay upright in class. From there it was off to EMT class.

At that point in time, I crashed, HARD. Jitters, shakes, and a need to vomit all crashed down on me. The slightly amusing part of this was the EMT class subject was drug withdrawl. The class instructor took great delight in pointing out my symptoms. I just sat through class and wallowed in my misery. I went home that night, dropped into bed and stayed there.

Moral of the story, excessive caffeine BAD. Don’t do that.

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