Writing as a friend

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deep thinks, pen as friend, writers block, writing

I’ve done a lot of writing that I just keep refusing to hit the publish button on. The reasons vary, but the underlying issue is one of perfection. I’ve gotten backed into an uncomfortable mental corner where I feel that every word has to be just right. Every sentence has to be grammar school perfect. Every thought has to be full and complete. Yet that’s often not how my best writing comes forth. My best stuff comes when I start tossing ideas out, then let others interact with them, helping me find ways to refine the thoughts.

Stream of consciousness writing isn’t polished and sparkly, but it’s the fuel that leads to that polished, sparkly stuff. So for now, it’s time to push some of the less sparkly bits out into the world, and see what I get. It doesn’t need to be perfect. It does need a little time to breathe so that I can get comfortable with it again. Writing is work, but for me it’s also been a long time friend. When I can’t view it as that friend, then I lose interest and the overall tenor and quality drops.

Like most friends, you go through phases. The relationship goes up and down. I’ve been in a bit of a down phase. It’s time to push it back up.

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Chase a moment

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deep thinks, photography

It’s easy to put things off. You don’t feel like buckling down for a work project, so you push it off. Don’t feel like doing laundry, push it off. It’s so common, most of us don’t think about it. It’s a borderline automatic response.

I’ve been driving past one of my favorite photo spots right around sunset for several weeks. Each time I go past, I’ve pushed the impulse to go take a few pictures off. There’s always time, I can do it later, next time I’ll stop.

One afternoon the realization hits, I’m running out of next times. It doesn’t matter that I push things off, time doesn’t pause when I do that. The clock never stops ticking. On an impulse I pull into the crowded parking spot. As the clock ticks down, I scramble up the steep trail, watching the light change.

In this moment I realize that I’m running out of time. As minutes tick down, the sky changes, colors shift, and I’m losing the race. I speed up, chasing the moment.

I reach the top, suck in a breath, and start firing off shots with my iPhone, desperate to capture something that’s racing away from me. Five shots, and the light is gone. I won’t know until I get home just what I captured. I walk back to the car, curiously calm after my race up the trail. It doesn’t matter what I caught. It just matters that today I didn’t push the chase off until tomorrow.

The value of a moment

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365, deep thinks, life, nablopomo

Photography is all about capturing a moment, then translating that moment into a representation of what was happening. The translation is part of the photographer’s vision. It may need post production work, multiple takes, elbow grease, and a ton of planning to show you that moment.

Even when the photographer doesn’t capture the perfect moment, it still has meaning. Blurry and out of focus images still have value. That blurred shot may be the final glance of a treasured memory.

Life isn’t perfect and images aren’t always perfect. The memory is still beautiful and valued.

Ten things Steve Gleason thinks

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365, als, deep thinks, life, mmqb, steve gleason

Steve Gleason is an exceptionally cool human being, former NFL player, and ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) patient. He’s the founder of Team Gleason, an organization dedicated to helping people with neuromuscular disease or injury access tech that can help improve their overall quality of life.

He wrote a guest column for Sports Illustrated today, and several of his “Things I Think” got me thinking. I thought I might share with you all and see if anything sparked you today.

— Via Sports Illustrated.com, Monday Morning Quarterback Column

Ten Things I Think I Think

1. I think I am amazed at the generosity of Peter’s readers. Peter ran in a half-marathon in New York last year, and said he thought he could raise $15,000. The total was over $60,000.

All of the funds raised went to the Team Gleason House.

2. I think for a guy who played eight years in the NFL, these are hilarious career stats. I actually had one or two tackles.

3. I think the question of whether I would play football again if I had to re-do it is a popular one for journalists, but for me it involves far too many hypothetical scenarios to answer with any seriousness. Would I give up my wife or son? Because, in some sense, football brought me to them. Also, tell me what my life would look like, in painstaking detail, had I not played football. Would I have gone to college? Would i have found something passionate and meaningful to do? Or would I be lost in some joyless job, toiling away at life? And it’s very possible I’d still get ALS. Would I have made an impact on others? If you can answer those questions for me, and countless others, I will tell you if I regret playing football. The simple answer is this: Right now, I’m happy. My life is not easy, but it’s awesome.

Most people want to know if I want Rivers to play. I never played football until I was 14, and I see no reason for Rivers to play until he is at least that old. I do not intend to force Rivers into or out of any activity, but unless there is further evolution regarding the safety of football, I believe I can make a strong case to Rivers to take his services and do something amazing elsewhere.

4. I think Pearl Jam stands in the top five most significant American rock bands of the past 50 years.

Others I would include, in no particular order, are: The Doors, Van Halen, R.E.M and The Grateful Dead. If we consider individuals like Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix and Bruce Springsteen, the list gets mangled. I would replace R.E.M and the Doors with Dylan and Hendrix.

I will be interviewing Pearl Jam to discuss their forthcoming album, which is their 10th. The band chose four people they were excited about talking to — and being interviewed by — for a series of recorded and filmed discussions focused on the creative process. Somehow I ended up being one of them. Which meant I got to hear some music off the new album. It’s sweet, by the way.

How did I end up as one of the interviewers? Ten years ago this April, I met one of the band’s guitarists, Mike McCready through a fellow Washington State Cougar athlete, Erica Perkins. Mike and Erica were family friends. I was playing for the Saints and Erica was the head coach of the women’s tennis team at Georgia Southern. Mike provided backstage passes for a show in Atlanta, so we hung out with him briefly before and after the show. Mike and I stayed acquaintances over the years, and I attended a few more shows. After my ALS diagnosis, Mike and his wife, Ashley, rallied to support me and my journey. Our families have become quite close, and I met the rest of the band last October for Music Midtown in, coincidentally, Atlanta. Not exactly sure why or how they they chose me, but I am not complaining. thanks Erica for the introduction … Go Cougs.

5. I think it’s scary that 20 percent of Americans think the sun revolves around the earth.

This study by MIT illustrates a gap between what people believe and the official position of religious organizations, regarding the coexistence of religion and science.

The basic premise is that a lot of people (46 percent) say they believe that the earth is only about 10,000 years old, and reject evolution as an explanation for life. But only a small number (11 percent) of people belong to religious institutions that profess similar beliefs.

The conclusion of the study is that, basically, a lot of people do not realize what their church believes; that the church or religious organization they affiliate with does not, in fact, believe that the earth is only 10,000 years old and also does not reject evolution.

To emphasize their point, the MIT study references an earlier study from 1999 that shows 18 percent of Americans believe the sun revolves around the earth, while 0 percent belong to churches supporting that concept.

I am fascinated by science, particularly astronomy, and equally fascinated by people’s belief that religion or spirituality cannot coexist with science. I used to believe that the religious institutions were suppressing people’s beliefs, but this study helps show, at least for the topics of evolution and our planet’s birthday, churches are progressing faster than their patrons.

6. I think my nickname could be “Delayed Conversation Man,” thanks to the extra time it takes me to respond to things. I vaguely recall a Saturday Night Live skit of the same name back in high school, but could not find anything on YouTube, Hulu or Google. Example scene: Steve is hanging out with two friends.

Friend 1: “Did you hear that Penelope Cruz might be the next Bond girl? What do you think about that?”

As Steve furiously begins typing with his eyes, Friend 2 replies: “I doubt that is true. She seems a little bit old. Speaking of Bond … I feel a little weird saying this but, I saw the most recent Bond movie with my mom.”

Steve: “That’s fine by me. She is totally hot. In fact, she’s on my hall pass list, approved by Michel.”

Awkward, uncomfortable silence.

End scene.

7. I think the Pelicans is an acceptable name for New Orleans’ basketball team. But I would prefer cockroaches as the mascot. Certainly, the name would strike fear into the hearts of opponents. Watch this video.

They are life’s perfection. For 300 million years they have frightened other organisms. The persistent roach is a survivor. Hours without oxygen, 40 days without water, 90 days without food. Sounds like my beloved New Orleans community. They do not carry disease, have a reaction time of 40 milliseconds, travel up to 50 body lengths per second, and can regrow limbs, all of which are talents almost any ball player surely must envy.

8. I think the least powerful aspect of our humanity is our physical strength or ability. Life really is about the strong surviving, but as humans, we had to understand and share our weakness and vulnerability to survive the predators and weather the dangers of our circumstances. I think, in some way, we have lost, or fail to celebrate, much of that element of being human.

9. I think it would be cool if my body parts shrunk as my muscles died. That way Michel could tote me around like Yoda, Benjamin Button or C3PO.

10. I think the acronym for this column should be MMQ. Quarterback is one word.

Read More: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/nfl/news/20130617/steve-gleason-monday-morning-quarterback/#ixzz2WVDfyxP3

Mending

Tags

deep thinks, life, motivation, moving forward, threading needle

Hands shaking, foot tapping, tongue sticking out I slowly advanced towards my objective. Slow, slow, slow, the thread advanced towards the tiny opening. Almost there, almost there…and at the last minute the thread darted left. Yet again, I missed the eye of the needle.

There was some inventive muttering and a curse word I still won’t admit to. Mom just raised an eyebrow and told me to try again. This was the summer of sewing. Mom decided that my brother and I needed to learn basic sewing and mending skills, plus sewing machine 101. John took to the tasks quickly. With his exceptional hand eye coordination and endless patience, the manual tasks of sewing were easy for him. I on the other hand struggled. With no depth perception, and the patience of a juju bee, trying to master the art of hand stitching a straight line taxed my non existent patience. The threading the needle lesson resulted in quite a few tears and a very unhappy Clara.

Bless Mom for having some extra patience. She wasn’t pleased that I seemed incapable of sewing in a straight line, but she kept encouraging me to master the basics. “What if you need to put a button on a shirt?” she’d ask.

“Glue” was my inevitable reply.

I did eventually learn how to do a basic hem, stick a button on a shirt, and stitch two pieces of fabric together. All without the addition of glue or duct tape. It’s not always pretty, but it is functional and I can get by until I can get myself to a tailor of seamstress. Or send the offending article of clothing back home.

Like any skill, mending requires some effort and a good bit of practice to get good at it. Anyone can slap a button on and attach it with some ugly stitches. If you want the button to look like every other one on the shirt, that takes work. Basic function can be achieved quickly. Making it pretty takes time. That’s when you make a decision. Do you spend the time needed to master the skill at the pretty level? Or do you go for functional and move on to something else that has a higher priority for you?

I’ve been content to keep my mending skills at functional. This weekend I fixed a torn strap on a favorite baseball cap, then reattached part of a sleeve on a t-shirt. It was nothing fancy, just some basic work that keeps two items of clothing functional and neat until I can get around to replacing them. I chose basic function, and then delegate to others who enjoy the process of mending more than I do.

Delegating is something most of us struggle with. Rather than obtain functionality in a skill, we fixate on doing it perfectly often ignoring the steps required to reach mastery. When we can’t do something perfectly, too often the task is tossed by the wayside, ignored. Worse, we berate ourselves for failing to accomplish the task at mastery level.

You can’t master everything in your life. We all have strengths and weaknesses. The key is understanding that learning a functional level to a task moves you forward. Waiting to achieve mastery before attempting the task means you don’t move at all.

I mended a shirt and hat this weekend. They look fine, and will hold up to the tasks required of them. I moved forward this weekend. Did you?

Art and the fun of a creative block- not.

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art, creative block, deep thinks, life, Musings

Producing art, be it something considered art in a conventional sense or something less traditional is not always easy and effortless. There are different points in time where you run into walls and just can’t get past them. These “creative blocks” are mocked by those who haven’t hit them, and are the subject of a great deal of discussion by those who have hit them.

My art has always been a combination of words, images, ideas, and fitness. Yeah fitness. My best stuff comes when my fitness is at it’s peak and the energy just flows. When one element goes off, it throws the rest of it off. Looking at it scientifically, it’s probably the hormone release that happens after a good workout that helps to contribute to the creativity. On a less scientific angle, there’s moments of clarity that pop in when I workout that just feed the little creative imp in my head and send it scurrying off to generate something new and awesome. For a variety of reasons, the poor little imp has been getting hammered over the last few years, leading to a gradual decline in my general art production.

The fix for a creative block is to just stubborn through it and keep producing. For me that means putting stuff out there, even when I’m not sure it’s any good. Step by step, and piece by piece you find a way to move things forward. It’s not fun. It’s always hard to put something out there and know that others are going to look at it and poopoo it. That’s the nature of the internet these days.

Art requires you open yourself up to the world. That means you are open to all the slings and arrows as well. Without the openness, without the share, the art you produce goes nowhere. There’s no connection, no communication, and no joy.

So I continue to share, because it’s so worth it when you touch just one person. Maybe today that person is you.

The gift of retail

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365, deep thinks, impacting others, life, retail

Confession: I love working retail. I’ve worked various retail jobs on and off over the past 25 years. I’ve been the brand new teenage clerk who messes up your transaction four times, and the experienced manager who works magic to help deliver an impossible to find gift just in the nick of time. I don’t always love the hours, but I do love working with people.

Each retail transaction is a snippet of a story. Over time, those snippets turn into a rich tapestry as you intersect a person’s life for a handful of moments. There’s the comic book writer who I struck up a friendship with over DVDs. Each week he would walk in looking for something new. Each week it was a challenge to find something that he’d enjoy watching.

There’s the little boy who came into the store with his mother. She was frantic to get holiday pictures printed in time for Christmas cards. He was frantic to touch everything in sight. I ended up spending 30 minutes carrying him around the store, helping customers and keeping him distracted. After that, he thought I was the coolest person in the world. His mom agreed. For several years I got Christmas gifts from them. I’ve still got an ornament that hangs on my tree.

There’s the angry woman who wanted hundreds of pictures scanned to digital media in a short time. I told her it wasn’t possible. She stubbornly insisted that it be done. I sucked up my irritation and came in early for a week to get the scans done. When she came to pick them up she broke down in tears. She had terminal cancer and this was her last Christmas with her family.

There’s the woman I sold a camera to so she could go to Russia and take pictures of her new son. Years later I’m watching him grow into a handsome young man.

With each interaction, I have been blessed to touch someone and make a small change in his life. That’s a wonderful gift, and it’s something to be cherished.