Lance Armstrong a cheat and liar. What does it change?

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attitude, bully, cancer, cheat, cheating, doper, doping, inspiration, lance armstrong, liar, life, Livestrong, motivation, oprah, reasoned decision, USADA

The short answer is nothing. That’s right, it changes nothing.

I went from the legion of Armstrong fans who believed he raced and won clean to the more cynical realization that he’d likely doped and doped in a big way to win. In the months since USADA’s reasoned decision, I’ve reviewed the information and concluded that it’s likely that most winners of the major cycling races in the past 30 years have probably cheated to win. Yes I said 30. I include Miguel Indurain and Greg LeMond on that list. We just don’t know what they did yet, and may never know.

My appreciation for Armstrong’s wins hasn’t changed. That’s right, I haven’t thrown out my Tour de France tapes. I haven’t ripped pictures off my walls, and I haven’t thrown out t-shirts. Why not? Because I benefited from Armstrong’s actions. The motivation and inspiration I got from watching Lance’s story doesn’t go away because he’s a liar and a cheat. Do I go back and throw away physical and emotional achievements that his story sparked in my life?

Do I go back and undo the efforts to run a half marathon because he lied? Do I ignore the workouts I did where I remembered his words, “Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever?” Do I rail at the heavens and curse his name for the new fitness milestones I hit in my efforts to “Be Like Lance”?

No. That kind of revisionist history is a useless exercise. Am I inclined to be careful if I get a chance to work for the guy? Heck yes. As a long time Armstrong fan, the revelations of the Oprah interview aren’t shocking. You can’t live in Austin without realizing that Lance Armstrong is (in his own words) a prick. He’s human, with major, major flaws.

We keep looking for perfect heroes in this day and age. They don’t exist. I’ve long maintained that if some of our greatest moral heroes were living today, they’d be on the cover of Enquirer and disgraced in a month. Perfection doesn’t exist, we’ve all got major flaws, and hubris can get the best of anyone. Armstrong screwed up and got caught. How many other iconic heroes are out there who haven’t gotten caught yet? Probably too many to count.

Armstrong has people and institutions he needs to apologize to, and make restitution towards. As a fan who saw the writing on the wall a few years back, I’m not on the list. I’m not going to regret donations to a charitable organization that I believe provides a valuable service. I’ve benefited from Lance Armstrong’s lies, if only in a small way.

“Anything is possible, but you have to believe and you have to fight.”– Lance Armstrong

Those words have been a cornerstone of my life over the past few years. I can’t calculate the impact they’ve had on me. Without Armstrong’s victories, I doubt they would have ever registered.

I wouldn’t change their impact for anything.

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Embracing the past to move to the future part 2

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bfl, bflspirit.com, body for life, clara k.showalter, clara showalter, embrace the past, inspiration, mindset, motivation, moving forward

Second in the series of journal entries from my 2006 Body for Life Challenge. 

Presented as originally written

 

People talk about the key ingredient for a successful transformation. They talk about desire, motivation, planning, equipment, suppliments. There’s one thing I don’t see mentioned nearly often enough.

Faith.

Now I’m not talking about religious faith, though that’s something that I know many successful BFLers have. I’m talking about a deep, profound belief that this transformation is actually possible. A belief so deep, so true, that when things get dark, you KNOW that if you just hang on a second longer, you can make this happen.

BFlers have a great gift before us. We have living proof that amazing transformations can and do happen to ordinary people. People just like us. These people show us that by putting away our fears, by believing in the process 100% that you can make a 180 degree turn in your life.

You have living, breathing proof. Every single successful transformee stood where you are. They were upset by how they looked, and how they felt. They stood at the abyss. Then they did something truly scary. They stepped off the edge. They committed 110 percent to the process. When they made that step, they never looked back.

This is week three. I know that some of you out there still haven’t crossed the Abyss. In the back of your mind, you know this can’t actually work. Somewhere between now and week 12- you are going to find a way to prove yourself right. That big, black hole is scary, dark, the wind howls up at you. It’s trying to suck you in. Nobody is going to blame you for backing away from the edge. I mean come on. It’s scary, you can’t see what’s at the bottom, you can’t see how far it is. Back away. Afterall, you don’t want to fall.

That’s the easy choice.

Or

You can look at the black void in front of you. You can’t see the bottom. It’s dark, empty, the wind is blowing. Your hair stirrs in the breeze. Close your eyes. No, trust me. Close them. Feel the wind. Listen to the sounds. Do you hear that. That tiny breath of heaven, that small voice saying “can” You have to strain to hear it. Step closer. Listen to it. “can”. It’s just out of reach. Step closer. No, it’s okay- trust me. Take that step. Let the wind catch you, support you.

Step. Keep your eyes closed, don’t worry about falling. Step. Listen to a fallen champion, let her carry you forward. Step.

Listen to the voices telling you- CAN

Trust me. This journey never ends. You won’t fall. Believe. When all else fails you- Believe that you can keep taking that next small step.

Crossing the Abyss is all about faith. Those of us who’ve crossed are there to keep you from falling.

Trust us, believe.

Close your eyes…

STEP

This marked the point where my attitude started to shift. It wasn’t so much about me. It was about looking at ways to reach out for others who needed help. That was a huge part of the formula that would help keep me on the path to success for the next 5 years. –ed

 

Embracing the past to move to the future part 1

Tags

bfl, bflspirit.com, body for life, clara showalter, eas, inspiration, julie whitt, mindset, motivation

While on a recent trip back to Colorado, I spent a bit of time digging through the family storage unit. After several years of unpredictable ping-ponging around, I can finally finish moving some treasured possessions out of storage and into my home. Every trip I take home, I spend a bit of time clearing out old clutter from the past.

This trip was about learning how to reintegrate that clutter into my life now. It’s an important lesson. The past is always with you. It just gets a bit further away in the rear view mirror.

Part of the past is my Body for Life transformation journey. I’ve been doing Body for Life since 2001. In 2006 it actually clicked in and the changes stuck. I haven’t looked back. As part of that not looking back, I realized that I generally don’t discuss my path to where I am now.  I’ve tended to focus on the importance of where I am now, and not really wanted to constantly look back. The thing is, when I do that I’m losing a valuable opportunity to help others. So I’ve been considering the best way to bring that story into the present. It needs to see the light of day, breathe, and hopefully help someone find their own way forward.

I’ve decided to go ahead and post some older entries from other blogs. I’m not going to edit them, heck I’ll even leave in the spelling errors. These posts reflect a time where I still didn’t believe I could write. They are a snapshot of a time and place. Like any photo, they should be seen as they were.

—

December 22, 2005

Howdy! I’ve been a BFL convert since 2001. In January of that year I saw a picture of me with my 1 month old godson. I had more double chins than he did. My brother had a copy of BFL sitting around. I took 4 weeks to “prep” myself- learning how to lift, cutting bad food out of my diet. In 16 weeks I lost 40 pounds.

The strength and clarity of vision I gained let me chase some big dreams, including moving back to Washington DC. Once I moved back here I made a tiny little boo-boo. I had no plan in place to mantain my progress. Whoops. You know, it’s darned hard to get a rocket at rest moving again.  I’ve spent two years spinning my wheels. In March, I started and finished a challenge where I made modest and unsustained progress. By June I was feeling more alone and isolated than ever. I live by myself and it’s so hard to keep going some days. In September I was back at 178 pounds. I needed to change. I started a challenge, stalled a bit, then made friends with Gary Jacobs. He’s been my sparkplug the first 5 weeks of my challenge. I started my official challenge 2 for 2005 in October. On Halloween, I sprained my knee!

Knees are very, very important. I learned this the hard way.  I regularly preach about the value of completing a challenge no matter what. And to be fair to myself, every single challenge I’ve started, I have completed. (With the exception of sending in challenge packets.) So I was faced with an interesting situation. I chose to continue with my challenge for 2 reasons. One, it would be hypocritical to stop when I CONSTANTLY preach keep moving. Two- had I stopped working out I was gonna look like the goodyear blimp by Christmas.  And I was running out of pants that fit. So I continued the challenge. I finish on Saturday. It’s not a “money” transformation. My physique just looks less lumpy.

My legs are starting to show definition again, I see some nice upper body development. I now have several pairs of pants that only sort of fit. And they sort of don’t fit in a good way.  I’ve also made some critical mental breakthroughs along the way.

I’m here because of my hero. Her name is Julie Whitt. Her picture sits on my wall, where I can see it when I do cardio. When I’ve been feeling sorry for myself, I would think of her and Cowboy Up. She walked me through finish up my essay for my March challenge. I’m ashamed to say it’s still sitting on my desk. I got scared and never sent it in.

I’m going to have that haunt me to my dying day. I made her a promise and I broke it. And worst of all, she knows now that I did. Now I know that Julie probably wouldn’t have judged me. That’s not how she ever came across. But I judge me. I’m always my own worst critic. I can’t make excuses to myself anymore. I can’t say, “I’ll make it up to her later.” There is no later. It’s over, done.

Time to face up my difficulty following through on things. I don’t put ends on what I do. I start, but never finish in the ways that matter. I have reasons. I’m dyslexic, organizing is incredibly challenging for me, I’m busy, I have poor short term memory…

Those reasons sound hollow next to the broken promises staring me in the face. Everyone else I’ve broken my word to, they are all still here. I can fix things. Not this one. It’s over, done. And NOTHING I do will ever change that. It’s my personal wake up call. I have a decision to make. I need to decide if I am going to be the champion in life that Julie saw when she talked to me.

This is a time of year of great personal signifigance for me. It’s my personal high point of the year, my most reflective time of year. I’m being given a message. It’s come in a form I wouldn’t ever wish on anyone. It’s a gift if I chose to accept it. I’m terrified. Accepting this gift means becoming the person so many see on the outside. It means letting go of the frightened child I don’t let the rest of the world see. It means stepping up, leading others, and leading myself to personal success and victory. It means a complete and total change of EVERYTHING I’ve ever thought about myself. It means becoming the hero I so desperatly want to be.

This is Julie’s legacy and gift to me. This upcoming challenge is my first tenative step in accepting it. It’s a leap of faith. Which is what BFL is really all about. Faith in the impossible becoming probable. Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, step, and trust that you are not going to fall.

…closes eyes…step…

Lessons from the cabbage patch

Tags

cabbage, clara showalter, fitness, healthy living, inspiration, johnson's backyard garden, mindset, motivation

So last week I did a bit of volunteering at Johnson’s Backyard Garden. It’s a small, local family farm which sells produce in the Austin area. You can volunteer your time and help package produce for local farmer’s markets and for the CSA  (Community Supported Agriculture)boxes. In return for your time, you get a box of fresh produce. It’s a pretty good trade.

Cabbage is in season at the moment. Part of the job I had was peeling off a few outer leaves from the cabbages to help make sure they looked pretty. You are looking for brown leaves , ratty edges, and holes in the cabbage. The holes in particular are important. Small worms tend to view the cabbage as quite tasty and will burrow into the cabbage. While many parts of the world consider worms a great source of protein, most of the rest of us aren’t so fond of worms in our food.

Now it’s a pretty easy gig. You grab a head of cabbage, and remove 2-4 leaves to get a nice looking cabbage. Pretty simple right? Only every now and then you remove a couple of leaves, expecting to find a good looking cabbage but something catches your attention. You look past the pristine leaf in front of you and pull again, finding a new hole under that leaf.

You see, the wily cabbage worms don’t always burrow in a straight line. You can look at a pristine exterior and think things are fine. In reality there’s holes in them there cabbages.

It’s the same with people. Too often we expect that a pristine exterior means things are fine. You’ve lost weight, you look great, and everyone around you expects that things are just perfect. They can’t see that under your beautiful exterior, there’s still a hole. Like the cabbage, you’ve got some more layers which need to get removed. The inclination is to keep things as they are. I mean come on, who’s going to notice if you don’t clear away all the holes in a particular cabbage? It’s not a big deal right?

Wrong. Those holes lead to the cabbage rotting from the inside out. It’s the same with you. If you aren’t taking the time to make the deeper repairs and healing that you need, those holes will catch up with you. You will break down and fall apart. It won’t be tomorrow or the next day. It will happen.

Don’t be afraid to look deeper. If something doesn’t feel right, even when the people around you are insisting that you should be feeling just fine, ask why. Look for what’s bothering you. If it comes back as a scary looking hole, take steps to eliminate it. That may require journaling, it may require professional assistance.

The only way to have the inside AND the outside matching up is by being willing to do the work required.

With cabbages, at a point in time you can’t keep peeling off leaves because you end up with a cabbage which is too small for market. The good thing about people is you never end up too small. You just end up closer to the essential you.

You can put a pig in a dress

Tags

abuse, body for life, fitness, honesty, inspiration, mindset, pig, transformation

Pigs get a tough rap. The word pig has evolved to not only include our porcine brethren, but includes human who exhibit slovenly and gluttonous behaviors.  Because we associate these negative behaviors with pigs, we’ve also evolved a series of quotes related to pigs in various social situations. One of the classics is, “you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow (female pig) ear.”

Another popular variant is, “you can put a pig in a dress, it’s still a pig.” The underlying concept is actually a sound one. When you try to change the nature of an animal, you are doomed to failure. The nature of a pig is based on thousands of years of evolutionary behavior. No matter how hard you try, you simply are not going to change the nature of the pig.

Yet we ignore this lesson on a daily basis. Over and over again I see people  dressing up the pig and expecting him to act less pig like. Past actions are a good indicator of future behavior. If an individual is regularly breaking promises to you, do not expect that he is magically going to change his behavior because he’s got a new, fancy dress on. The odds are not in your favor.

I’m like anyone else. I love a story of redemption. I love to see someone overcome the odds and make a positive change. Heck, it’s what I spend a good chunk of my life helping people do! Making lifestyle changes is all about finding a way to transform behaviors. The thing is, I understand fully who has to make the change. When I’m helping someone with a physical transformation, I don’t need to do the work. They do.  You can show them the way. You can offer inspiration. You can offer a shoulder. You can’t make them do the work.

On a more critical level, you cannot ever make someone change their basic nature. Your actions will not make them into a better person. If you do something just right, it’s not going to make the person love you more. It’s not going to keep them from hitting you. It is not going to keep them from taking advantage of you. Remember, your actions cannot control the actions of another. You can’t take a pig, dress it up in a dress and expect it to be the belle of the ball.

When you are dealing with someone who lies to you, who belittles you, or who hits you, remember this- that person is a pig. No matter how you dress it up, what excuses you give, the person is still a pig. You cannot effect change in that individual.

The only change you can effect is a change in you. Walk away. Remove yourself from that situation and that person. I know it’s hard. I know it hurts. Remember that you are worth it.

Unlike pigs, humans do have the potential to rise above our nature. The key is that it’s an individual decision. It’s not yours. Don’t encourage the pig to wander around in the dress. It annoys the pig and upsets you.