Time never stops

Tags

365, forward progress, motivation, moving forward, time

 

 

 

Time moves in a single direction.

Forward.

Yet we spend an inordinate amount of time trying to move backwards, against the flow of time. No matter how hard you try, you aren’t ever going to reset that clock. Time will always move forward, it will always win in a fight to go back. So you have two choices. Fight a losing battle, or learn to move forward.

Moving forward doesn’t mean you forget the past. It doesn’t mean you don’t try to fix things that happened which you may regret. It means you focus on working on those things in the present, with an eye on the future. You can apologize for the past. You then need to focus on correcting your behaviors now, and continuing to live with those positive corrections in the future.

Miss a workout? Don’t go back and try to fix that. Correct it today, and work to not miss tomorrow. Failed to do a homework assignment? Don’t go back. Fix it now, even if you don’t get credit, then move forward and learn.

Even if everything is falling apart around you, find one thing to do today that corrects a problem. Even if it’s something small like getting the dishes in the dishwasher. Focus on that correction, then keep building on it and move forward.

Life has no pause button. It has no rewind. Time will move on, even if you don’t want to. So go ahead and do something to move with the flow, rather than fight that losing battle.

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Mending

Tags

deep thinks, life, motivation, moving forward, threading needle

Hands shaking, foot tapping, tongue sticking out I slowly advanced towards my objective. Slow, slow, slow, the thread advanced towards the tiny opening. Almost there, almost there…and at the last minute the thread darted left. Yet again, I missed the eye of the needle.

There was some inventive muttering and a curse word I still won’t admit to. Mom just raised an eyebrow and told me to try again. This was the summer of sewing. Mom decided that my brother and I needed to learn basic sewing and mending skills, plus sewing machine 101. John took to the tasks quickly. With his exceptional hand eye coordination and endless patience, the manual tasks of sewing were easy for him. I on the other hand struggled. With no depth perception, and the patience of a juju bee, trying to master the art of hand stitching a straight line taxed my non existent patience. The threading the needle lesson resulted in quite a few tears and a very unhappy Clara.

Bless Mom for having some extra patience. She wasn’t pleased that I seemed incapable of sewing in a straight line, but she kept encouraging me to master the basics. “What if you need to put a button on a shirt?” she’d ask.

“Glue” was my inevitable reply.

I did eventually learn how to do a basic hem, stick a button on a shirt, and stitch two pieces of fabric together. All without the addition of glue or duct tape. It’s not always pretty, but it is functional and I can get by until I can get myself to a tailor of seamstress. Or send the offending article of clothing back home.

Like any skill, mending requires some effort and a good bit of practice to get good at it. Anyone can slap a button on and attach it with some ugly stitches. If you want the button to look like every other one on the shirt, that takes work. Basic function can be achieved quickly. Making it pretty takes time. That’s when you make a decision. Do you spend the time needed to master the skill at the pretty level? Or do you go for functional and move on to something else that has a higher priority for you?

I’ve been content to keep my mending skills at functional. This weekend I fixed a torn strap on a favorite baseball cap, then reattached part of a sleeve on a t-shirt. It was nothing fancy, just some basic work that keeps two items of clothing functional and neat until I can get around to replacing them. I chose basic function, and then delegate to others who enjoy the process of mending more than I do.

Delegating is something most of us struggle with. Rather than obtain functionality in a skill, we fixate on doing it perfectly often ignoring the steps required to reach mastery. When we can’t do something perfectly, too often the task is tossed by the wayside, ignored. Worse, we berate ourselves for failing to accomplish the task at mastery level.

You can’t master everything in your life. We all have strengths and weaknesses. The key is understanding that learning a functional level to a task moves you forward. Waiting to achieve mastery before attempting the task means you don’t move at all.

I mended a shirt and hat this weekend. They look fine, and will hold up to the tasks required of them. I moved forward this weekend. Did you?

Lazy Sunday…not really

Tags

366, cleaning, life, motivation, what moves me

I got up with a ton of energy today and it’s translated into a nice burst of productivity. I’ve always been one of those people who periodically needs to do a major clean out of stuff. As a kid the best way for me to clean my room was to dump everything into the middle of the floor, then put it away as I go. Every couple years that pattern repeats.

Over the past couple weeks I’ve been systematically dumping out all my books, moving them around, and then putting them back up. It’s part of a bigger effort to clear things out. When I lived in a small apartment in D.C., I’d make sure to throw something out every time I brought something new in. I’ve lost the habit since I moved.

Even when you have the habit of daily cleaning and straightening, you periodically need to do a major clean out. It’s easy to lose sight of how things creep into your life without realizing it. The only way to get a good grasp of the situation is by making a big adjustment.

When did you last take inventory of your books? Your home? Your life? What changes can you make today that will take you forward in a positive direction?

You are not

Tags

365, fitness, life, motivation, Quotes

— Words to live by. Don’t let outside factors, numbers, or random minutia of life define you as a person. Life is too wonderfully complex to boil down to petty things.

Lance Armstrong a cheat and liar. What does it change?

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attitude, bully, cancer, cheat, cheating, doper, doping, inspiration, lance armstrong, liar, life, Livestrong, motivation, oprah, reasoned decision, USADA

The short answer is nothing. That’s right, it changes nothing.

I went from the legion of Armstrong fans who believed he raced and won clean to the more cynical realization that he’d likely doped and doped in a big way to win. In the months since USADA’s reasoned decision, I’ve reviewed the information and concluded that it’s likely that most winners of the major cycling races in the past 30 years have probably cheated to win. Yes I said 30. I include Miguel Indurain and Greg LeMond on that list. We just don’t know what they did yet, and may never know.

My appreciation for Armstrong’s wins hasn’t changed. That’s right, I haven’t thrown out my Tour de France tapes. I haven’t ripped pictures off my walls, and I haven’t thrown out t-shirts. Why not? Because I benefited from Armstrong’s actions. The motivation and inspiration I got from watching Lance’s story doesn’t go away because he’s a liar and a cheat. Do I go back and throw away physical and emotional achievements that his story sparked in my life?

Do I go back and undo the efforts to run a half marathon because he lied? Do I ignore the workouts I did where I remembered his words, “Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever?” Do I rail at the heavens and curse his name for the new fitness milestones I hit in my efforts to “Be Like Lance”?

No. That kind of revisionist history is a useless exercise. Am I inclined to be careful if I get a chance to work for the guy? Heck yes. As a long time Armstrong fan, the revelations of the Oprah interview aren’t shocking. You can’t live in Austin without realizing that Lance Armstrong is (in his own words) a prick. He’s human, with major, major flaws.

We keep looking for perfect heroes in this day and age. They don’t exist. I’ve long maintained that if some of our greatest moral heroes were living today, they’d be on the cover of Enquirer and disgraced in a month. Perfection doesn’t exist, we’ve all got major flaws, and hubris can get the best of anyone. Armstrong screwed up and got caught. How many other iconic heroes are out there who haven’t gotten caught yet? Probably too many to count.

Armstrong has people and institutions he needs to apologize to, and make restitution towards. As a fan who saw the writing on the wall a few years back, I’m not on the list. I’m not going to regret donations to a charitable organization that I believe provides a valuable service. I’ve benefited from Lance Armstrong’s lies, if only in a small way.

“Anything is possible, but you have to believe and you have to fight.”– Lance Armstrong

Those words have been a cornerstone of my life over the past few years. I can’t calculate the impact they’ve had on me. Without Armstrong’s victories, I doubt they would have ever registered.

I wouldn’t change their impact for anything.

Fall

Tags

clara k.showalter, how will you live your life, inspire, life, motivation

You will never say that you should have spent an extra hour at work. You’ll never say you should have spent less time with the people you love. You’ll never regret time given freely to others.

Life is to be lived. Enjoy the ride.

Dash

Tags

clara k.showalter, dash poem, how will you live your life, life, linda ellis, motivation

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

© 1996 Linda Ellis

Embracing the past to move to the future part 2

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bfl, bflspirit.com, body for life, clara k.showalter, clara showalter, embrace the past, inspiration, mindset, motivation, moving forward

Second in the series of journal entries from my 2006 Body for Life Challenge. 

Presented as originally written

 

People talk about the key ingredient for a successful transformation. They talk about desire, motivation, planning, equipment, suppliments. There’s one thing I don’t see mentioned nearly often enough.

Faith.

Now I’m not talking about religious faith, though that’s something that I know many successful BFLers have. I’m talking about a deep, profound belief that this transformation is actually possible. A belief so deep, so true, that when things get dark, you KNOW that if you just hang on a second longer, you can make this happen.

BFlers have a great gift before us. We have living proof that amazing transformations can and do happen to ordinary people. People just like us. These people show us that by putting away our fears, by believing in the process 100% that you can make a 180 degree turn in your life.

You have living, breathing proof. Every single successful transformee stood where you are. They were upset by how they looked, and how they felt. They stood at the abyss. Then they did something truly scary. They stepped off the edge. They committed 110 percent to the process. When they made that step, they never looked back.

This is week three. I know that some of you out there still haven’t crossed the Abyss. In the back of your mind, you know this can’t actually work. Somewhere between now and week 12- you are going to find a way to prove yourself right. That big, black hole is scary, dark, the wind howls up at you. It’s trying to suck you in. Nobody is going to blame you for backing away from the edge. I mean come on. It’s scary, you can’t see what’s at the bottom, you can’t see how far it is. Back away. Afterall, you don’t want to fall.

That’s the easy choice.

Or

You can look at the black void in front of you. You can’t see the bottom. It’s dark, empty, the wind is blowing. Your hair stirrs in the breeze. Close your eyes. No, trust me. Close them. Feel the wind. Listen to the sounds. Do you hear that. That tiny breath of heaven, that small voice saying “can” You have to strain to hear it. Step closer. Listen to it. “can”. It’s just out of reach. Step closer. No, it’s okay- trust me. Take that step. Let the wind catch you, support you.

Step. Keep your eyes closed, don’t worry about falling. Step. Listen to a fallen champion, let her carry you forward. Step.

Listen to the voices telling you- CAN

Trust me. This journey never ends. You won’t fall. Believe. When all else fails you- Believe that you can keep taking that next small step.

Crossing the Abyss is all about faith. Those of us who’ve crossed are there to keep you from falling.

Trust us, believe.

Close your eyes…

STEP

This marked the point where my attitude started to shift. It wasn’t so much about me. It was about looking at ways to reach out for others who needed help. That was a huge part of the formula that would help keep me on the path to success for the next 5 years. –ed

 

Embracing the past to move to the future part 1

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bfl, bflspirit.com, body for life, clara showalter, eas, inspiration, julie whitt, mindset, motivation

While on a recent trip back to Colorado, I spent a bit of time digging through the family storage unit. After several years of unpredictable ping-ponging around, I can finally finish moving some treasured possessions out of storage and into my home. Every trip I take home, I spend a bit of time clearing out old clutter from the past.

This trip was about learning how to reintegrate that clutter into my life now. It’s an important lesson. The past is always with you. It just gets a bit further away in the rear view mirror.

Part of the past is my Body for Life transformation journey. I’ve been doing Body for Life since 2001. In 2006 it actually clicked in and the changes stuck. I haven’t looked back. As part of that not looking back, I realized that I generally don’t discuss my path to where I am now.  I’ve tended to focus on the importance of where I am now, and not really wanted to constantly look back. The thing is, when I do that I’m losing a valuable opportunity to help others. So I’ve been considering the best way to bring that story into the present. It needs to see the light of day, breathe, and hopefully help someone find their own way forward.

I’ve decided to go ahead and post some older entries from other blogs. I’m not going to edit them, heck I’ll even leave in the spelling errors. These posts reflect a time where I still didn’t believe I could write. They are a snapshot of a time and place. Like any photo, they should be seen as they were.

—

December 22, 2005

Howdy! I’ve been a BFL convert since 2001. In January of that year I saw a picture of me with my 1 month old godson. I had more double chins than he did. My brother had a copy of BFL sitting around. I took 4 weeks to “prep” myself- learning how to lift, cutting bad food out of my diet. In 16 weeks I lost 40 pounds.

The strength and clarity of vision I gained let me chase some big dreams, including moving back to Washington DC. Once I moved back here I made a tiny little boo-boo. I had no plan in place to mantain my progress. Whoops. You know, it’s darned hard to get a rocket at rest moving again.  I’ve spent two years spinning my wheels. In March, I started and finished a challenge where I made modest and unsustained progress. By June I was feeling more alone and isolated than ever. I live by myself and it’s so hard to keep going some days. In September I was back at 178 pounds. I needed to change. I started a challenge, stalled a bit, then made friends with Gary Jacobs. He’s been my sparkplug the first 5 weeks of my challenge. I started my official challenge 2 for 2005 in October. On Halloween, I sprained my knee!

Knees are very, very important. I learned this the hard way.  I regularly preach about the value of completing a challenge no matter what. And to be fair to myself, every single challenge I’ve started, I have completed. (With the exception of sending in challenge packets.) So I was faced with an interesting situation. I chose to continue with my challenge for 2 reasons. One, it would be hypocritical to stop when I CONSTANTLY preach keep moving. Two- had I stopped working out I was gonna look like the goodyear blimp by Christmas.  And I was running out of pants that fit. So I continued the challenge. I finish on Saturday. It’s not a “money” transformation. My physique just looks less lumpy.

My legs are starting to show definition again, I see some nice upper body development. I now have several pairs of pants that only sort of fit. And they sort of don’t fit in a good way.  I’ve also made some critical mental breakthroughs along the way.

I’m here because of my hero. Her name is Julie Whitt. Her picture sits on my wall, where I can see it when I do cardio. When I’ve been feeling sorry for myself, I would think of her and Cowboy Up. She walked me through finish up my essay for my March challenge. I’m ashamed to say it’s still sitting on my desk. I got scared and never sent it in.

I’m going to have that haunt me to my dying day. I made her a promise and I broke it. And worst of all, she knows now that I did. Now I know that Julie probably wouldn’t have judged me. That’s not how she ever came across. But I judge me. I’m always my own worst critic. I can’t make excuses to myself anymore. I can’t say, “I’ll make it up to her later.” There is no later. It’s over, done.

Time to face up my difficulty following through on things. I don’t put ends on what I do. I start, but never finish in the ways that matter. I have reasons. I’m dyslexic, organizing is incredibly challenging for me, I’m busy, I have poor short term memory…

Those reasons sound hollow next to the broken promises staring me in the face. Everyone else I’ve broken my word to, they are all still here. I can fix things. Not this one. It’s over, done. And NOTHING I do will ever change that. It’s my personal wake up call. I have a decision to make. I need to decide if I am going to be the champion in life that Julie saw when she talked to me.

This is a time of year of great personal signifigance for me. It’s my personal high point of the year, my most reflective time of year. I’m being given a message. It’s come in a form I wouldn’t ever wish on anyone. It’s a gift if I chose to accept it. I’m terrified. Accepting this gift means becoming the person so many see on the outside. It means letting go of the frightened child I don’t let the rest of the world see. It means stepping up, leading others, and leading myself to personal success and victory. It means a complete and total change of EVERYTHING I’ve ever thought about myself. It means becoming the hero I so desperatly want to be.

This is Julie’s legacy and gift to me. This upcoming challenge is my first tenative step in accepting it. It’s a leap of faith. Which is what BFL is really all about. Faith in the impossible becoming probable. Sometimes you just have to close your eyes, step, and trust that you are not going to fall.

…closes eyes…step…

Lessons from the cabbage patch

Tags

cabbage, clara showalter, fitness, healthy living, inspiration, johnson's backyard garden, mindset, motivation

So last week I did a bit of volunteering at Johnson’s Backyard Garden. It’s a small, local family farm which sells produce in the Austin area. You can volunteer your time and help package produce for local farmer’s markets and for the CSA  (Community Supported Agriculture)boxes. In return for your time, you get a box of fresh produce. It’s a pretty good trade.

Cabbage is in season at the moment. Part of the job I had was peeling off a few outer leaves from the cabbages to help make sure they looked pretty. You are looking for brown leaves , ratty edges, and holes in the cabbage. The holes in particular are important. Small worms tend to view the cabbage as quite tasty and will burrow into the cabbage. While many parts of the world consider worms a great source of protein, most of the rest of us aren’t so fond of worms in our food.

Now it’s a pretty easy gig. You grab a head of cabbage, and remove 2-4 leaves to get a nice looking cabbage. Pretty simple right? Only every now and then you remove a couple of leaves, expecting to find a good looking cabbage but something catches your attention. You look past the pristine leaf in front of you and pull again, finding a new hole under that leaf.

You see, the wily cabbage worms don’t always burrow in a straight line. You can look at a pristine exterior and think things are fine. In reality there’s holes in them there cabbages.

It’s the same with people. Too often we expect that a pristine exterior means things are fine. You’ve lost weight, you look great, and everyone around you expects that things are just perfect. They can’t see that under your beautiful exterior, there’s still a hole. Like the cabbage, you’ve got some more layers which need to get removed. The inclination is to keep things as they are. I mean come on, who’s going to notice if you don’t clear away all the holes in a particular cabbage? It’s not a big deal right?

Wrong. Those holes lead to the cabbage rotting from the inside out. It’s the same with you. If you aren’t taking the time to make the deeper repairs and healing that you need, those holes will catch up with you. You will break down and fall apart. It won’t be tomorrow or the next day. It will happen.

Don’t be afraid to look deeper. If something doesn’t feel right, even when the people around you are insisting that you should be feeling just fine, ask why. Look for what’s bothering you. If it comes back as a scary looking hole, take steps to eliminate it. That may require journaling, it may require professional assistance.

The only way to have the inside AND the outside matching up is by being willing to do the work required.

With cabbages, at a point in time you can’t keep peeling off leaves because you end up with a cabbage which is too small for market. The good thing about people is you never end up too small. You just end up closer to the essential you.